How Do You Set Up Boundaries In Your Life?
Having boundaries in your life is very important. This could be in your love life, at work place or just dealing with your friends in your daily life
Setting up Limits in your Love Life
This is a question have been asking myself a thousand times because love makes me weak and unreasonable ouch! that was so painful to say!
First Rule, AN EX WILL ALWAYS BE AN EX!
Back then, i met my ex boyfriend at a club and being that we were so drunk we opted to rekindle our relationship.
Never forget that once something is toxic it will always be toxic. I was up for a serious relationship and there i was asking him what he wants this time with us. he said, i don’t know but seriousness is earned i was like what?!!
Yes i accept seriousness is earned but at least show me that you are willing to be serious.
I learnt that an ex will always be an ex and despite him looking changed or mature learn to set right your boundaries and just say NO.
Below are just a few tips to put in mind when setting up boundaries.
- List your boundaries.
Having healthy boundaries means knowing what your limits are i mean what will get you mad if someone did or said to you.
first of all you can’t set a boundary if you don’t know where you stand.
Identify your physical, emotional and spiritual limits and consider what you can tolerate, what makes you uncomfortable and stressed.
These feelings helps us in identifying what our boundaries are.
- Be selfish with yourself
You are allowed to put yourself first before anyone else and anything that cost’s your peace is totally not worth it!
YES! am in control of making my own rules. when you tell yourself this, its much easier to draw your boundaries.
You must recognize the importance of your feelings and learn to honor them whether at the expense of loosing some leeches in the name of friends.
- Have Self Confidence.
Just recently i had a friend she was like “I don’t like your dreadlocks why not put back your normal hair i got so pissed like who are you to decide for me what i put on my hair like that is crossing my boundary.
As long as i feel confident in myself that’s what matters.
People are not mind readers and will never know what hurts us and so its very vital to boldly communicate when someone crosses your boundary.
Always let someone know what they did or said was bothersome and next time they can’t repeat that again.
- Be Straightforward
Honestly, i appreciate that people have different personalities, cultures and approach to life.
Because of that, You need to be straight with your boundaries. For instance; someone at work place thinks its okay to touch you inappropriately when in reality it is harassment.
Saying No to a family member when you always want to be a good daughter or son. But what if you feel drained?
There must be no room for sugar coating. if it feels uncomfortable say it!
Boundaries aren’t just a sign of t healthy living but a sign of self respect when you are able to observe them.